"Kindness"

Photo by Tino Rischawy on Unsplash

I want to talk today about something that, I believe, is very important every day, but so many people forget, and this is the importance of kindness. My granddaughter Lucy is here today, and I don’t want her to accuse me of being boring, so I am going

to start with a short story that makes the point.

The Hummingbird’s Gift High in the branches of the Great Oak lived Pip, a tiny hummingbird with a very big heart. While the other hummingbirds spent their days racing to the highest mountain to find the sweetest nectar, Pip preferred to stay close to the forest floor.

She loved to watch out for the woodland animals.

One blustery autumn morning, a sudden frost swept through the valley. The forest animals woke up shivering. Little Fawn found that her favorite patch of clover had completely frozen over, and Old Badger’s den had lost some of its leaves, leaving him cold in the dark.

Sensing the worry in the air, Pip knew exactly what to do. she didn't have big, strong paws to clear away the ice, but he did have a very special talent: she moved like the wind.

Pip zoomed over to the meadow and began to hover just inches from the frozen clover. she buzzed her tiny wings as fast as she could, creating a gentle, warm hum of air. The warmth from her rapid motion slowly melted the ice, revealing fresh, green clover underneath. Fawn trotted over, blinking in surprise, and began to eat her breakfast.

Next, Pip flew over to Old Badger’s den. she couldn't carry heavy branches, but she could weave. Using the bright autumn leaves that had blown off the trees, Pip worked tirelessly until late in the afternoon, patching up the holes in Badger’s roof and making a cozy new rug of moss.

When Old Badger woke up and saw the warm, draft-free den, he smiled through his gray whiskers. He immediately waddled over to Fawn to tell her who had helped him. "What can we do to thank Pip" Fawn asked. "We can pass Pip’s kindness along" Badger replied softly.

So, Fawn gathered a bundle of sweet, juicy berries she had saved and left them on the doorstep of the little field mouse who was too small to forage in the winter wind. And Old Badger used his strong paws to dig out a freshwater bowl for the thirsty birds.

By the time Pip returned to the Great Oak, she was completely exhausted but wonderfully happy. She curled up on a twig, ready to sleep. But as she looked out over the valley, she didn't see the cold, gray forest she had woken up to. She saw a forest glowing with the warmth of animals sharing, helping, and caring for one another.

Pip realized then that kindness is a bit like a hummingbird’s song. It starts as a tiny, quiet note, but when it echoes through the hearts of others, it becomes a beautiful symphony that warms the entire world.

This is the story of Pip and her kindness to others – and that’s the story.

Our world is very fast paced today, and it is filled with conflict. There are wars going on in many places around the world. The political situation in many countries and certainly in the United States is filled with lots of conflict, anger, and outright hatred.

Within our cities and towns there are conflicts among people. And even in families, people yell and scream at each other. And they are yelling at people they are supposed to love. How strange is this that people within a family who are supposed to love each other, instead – yell at each other?

Adding to this is conflict and hatred on social media and often what we see in the news. Even worse is the growing use of artificial intelligence to generate fake stories about people and organizations to try to establish fake facts which creates more conflict and hatred.

Texting and social media are methods of providing information. They are NOT ways of communicating with other people. Human beings communicate in many ways. The tone of our voice, our facial expressions, the use of our hands, and emotions. All of these, in addition to words, are the way people communicate with each other. Equally important to understanding what another person is saying is how we see and hear these actions from the person we are trying to communicate with.

Words alone cannot do this. And yet, as people rely more and more on electronics to supposedly communicate, often times this just creates conflict when the person we are providing information to misunderstands the words we text or email. And it is a poor way to speak with kindness.

The other problem with electronic communications, and a root cause of conflict, is anonymity. When we don’t see the other person face to face, it is easier to say things that are cruel, hateful and just plain mean. Think about how people react in their car when someone in another car makes a mistake in their driving. The common reaction is yelling, swearing and hand gestures that don’t mean you are number one. In many

cases, people who react like this would never confront another person in the same manner if they were face to face with them. This is the problem of anonymity, and it finds its way into texts, social media, artificial intelligence and other ways hateful speech and words are transmitted.

All the world’s religions believe in the golden rule – “Do onto others as you would have them do unto you.” Another way of saying this is “Be kind to others and treat them with kindness as you hope they would do to you.”

What puzzles me is there are people who say they are religious and they go to church each week, but in their daily life they act in ways that are far from kind. I am sure you can think of many examples of people like this who are not kind.

Kindness is the solution to the world’s problems. It is the solution to problems in our families, in our schools, in our workplaces and in our communities. It means being kind to people you know and to people you do not know. It means being kind to the earth, kind to the environment, kind to animals. Kindness is the way to make every aspect of our life better and to make the lives of others better too.

When you are kind to strangers, it can have a big effect on them. It can brighten an otherwise terrible day. It can even change their outlook on their life. When you are kind to someone, it can actually cause them to be kind to others, creating a chain of kindness that spreads like ripples of water on a pond.

Being kind to someone can create a moment they will never forget. For many years after being kind to a stranger, they will usually remember your act of kindness. A long time ago, before I met my wife, Virginia, I was working in my office at the United States Merchant Marine Academy. In those years, I lived on my sailboat berthed at the Academy. Often, I worked until late in the evening. Sometimes if it got very late, I was too tired to make dinner on my boat, so I would go to one of two local restaurants I liked and have a late dinner. I did this often so I knew all the waiters in the restaurants. Usually, I brought along a nautical type book with me to read during my dinner. On that particular evening, it was probably a Patrick O’Brien novel.

One day after working late, I went to one of my two favorite restaurants. As usual, I said hi to everyone and sat down to my dinner. I don’t recall what was bothering me that day, but I remember something was really upsetting me. I was not reading the book I had brought along.

I must have had a sad expression on my face. I know I was staring into space a lot. After I finished my dinner, I realized my waiter had left for the night, so I went up to the bar and asked for my check. The bartender looked at me and said, “your waiter paid your bill.” I was stunned. I then recalled my waiter kept trying to ask me how I

was, and I only gave him short answers. Since he knew my usual manner, he must have realized something was really bothering me. This is why he paid my bill. What an act of kindness. I have never forgotten this, and this happened 30 years ago. I still think about this moment when I remind myself to be kind – even to strangers.

I can tell you – when you are really kind to someone, particularly a stranger or someone you do not know well, they will never forget it, and it can really change them.

Kindness can disarm a person when they are mad at you. Of course, it is unfortunate that some people when they get mad don’t seem to let go of their anger. They hang on to their anger – sometimes for hour, sometimes for days – even sometimes for years. They forget how important kindness is. And sometimes, no matter what kind acts you give to someone, they simply cannot let go of their anger. This is really sad.

I had a great aunt who moved into her sister’s tiny house during the depression because she was a teacher. Teachers in those days received their pay in script which had no immediate value so she could not support herself. She paid no rent to her sister and her husband and didn’t contribute to groceries either. Many years later and long after the depression was over, my great uncle gently suggested it was time for my great aunt to find her own place to live because they wanted their dining room back so they could entertain friends. She flew into a rage and refused to talk to her sister or my great uncle ever again. Their extreme act of kindness for over a decade had no effect on my great aunt, which is really strange, but it was still very important that they

tried to be kind.

It is true that kindness cannot always change people but a lot of times it can, and it is always worth a try.

It is certainly easier to be kind to people you love, and this is good – but it is, perhaps, even more important to be kind to strangers and to people you don’t like – because you have the potential to change them and to resolve the conflict you might have with them.

Being kind within families is also very important. Sometimes in families, mothers, fathers, husbands and children say mean and cruel things to each other that they would never say to people outside the family. This is really a strange situation. Why do people sometime say things that are cruel and mean to someone they love? This is very strange!

And actually – sometimes kindness means not getting mad at another person when you really feel mad. In other words, despite frustration and anger – an act of kindness may just be to gently explain to the other person your concerns without yelling at them or getting mad at them. This can be hard to do, but it can really work. When you yell at another person and say unkind things, are they really listening to you? No. They are usually thinking about what they are going to yell back at you in return. Yet – when you gently explain to another person your concerns, maybe, just maybe, they will listen to you.

I mentioned that kindness to the earth is also very important. In 1986, there were less than 5 billion people on earth. Today, there are 8.3 billion people. What do you suppose 8.3 billion people are doing to the earth? The answer is simple. Unlike most animals, human beings are very destructive creatures. This is made worse by greed, by carelessness, by selfishness, by ignorance, and sometimes just by laziness. As a result, we humans have the potential to destroy the earth – which is our only home.

This makes kindness toward the earth really important. Everyone can do things that create kindness towards the earth. This means recycling our garbage as much as possible. It means picking up that odd piece of trash someone has thrown from their car. Why are people so uncaring that they throw trash from their car puzzles and amazes me. It is an act of selfishness and ignorance.

Kindness can also mean donating money, however small the amount, to organizations who are working toward environmental preservation. Just imagine if all adult Americans donated only $20 a year to environmental causes. That would equal over 5.3 billion dollars each year for environmental organizations.

Kindness towards the earth also means sharing with others who may not understand how important it is to be kind to the earth. Kindness toward the earth also means respecting wildlife – helping to ensure that animals and their environment are protected. Because there are so many billions of people on earth, we are destroying the home of so many animals. Scientists suggest that somewhere between 200 and 200,000 species go extinct each year. Why the number is hard to pinpoint is because there are still so many undiscovered species.

The reasons species go extinct are complex and varied.

Some extinctions are the result of natural causes, but many causes of extinction come from human actions that cause destruction in so many ways. We can show kindness toward the creatures of the earth by supporting organizations that do this and by taking democratic actions that protect them and their environments such as protesting needless development, voting for candidates dedicated to environmental causes and attending public hearings around these same issues.

Then, of course, we hear about the idea of “random acts of kindness.” The act of paying my bill in the restaurant was a random act of kindness that certainly made a difference in my day and in my life, actually. A random act of kindness can be an impulsive act to help another person. Sometimes we hear about this on the news such as when someone steps forward to pay a grocery bill for someone who is struggling.

Sometimes we see stranded motorists and see complete strangers stopping to help them. Sometimes we hear of someone being attacked or bullied in some way and a stranger steps forward to intervene. Not only is this a random act of kindness, but it is an act of courage too. There are so many ways each of us can offer a random act of kindness even if is only saying something nice to someone or encouraging them when they are feeling down. Of course, you need to think of yourself when you are thinking of kindness. In short, you need to be kind to yourself as well. To many people put themselves down or overly criticize themselves for presumed inadequacies. Yes – it is always important to take stock of yourself and think of ways you can become a better person. But, at the same time, you need to be kind to yourself. To be happy and healthy, people need to love themselves which means being kind to themselves. This doesn’t mean being selfish or uncaring of others, it means respecting and valuing the person you are – always with an effort to being honest with yourself on whether you are living up to your capabilities and values.

Kindness is very clearly an indicator of the character of a person. Is a person selfish or generous? Is a person easy or hard to get along with? Is a person forgiving or do they hold grudges? Is a person self-absorbed or do they always try to think of others? Kindness is an indicator of all of these things.

As the Buddha’s words in the Buddhist Dhammapada scripture says:

Don’t deceive anyone.

Don’t hate anyone or any creature.

Avoid anger and ill-will toward others.

Don’t wish harm on another.

Even as a mother protects with her life

And her child.

So, with a boundless heart

Should every one cherish all living beings;

Radiating kindness throughout the entire world:

Spreading kindness upwards to the skies,

And downwards to the depths of the earth and sea;

Spreading kindness outwards without limits

Free from hatred and ill-will.

Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down

Hatreds never cease through hatred in this world

Only through love and kindness can hatred cease.

This is an eternal law. (adapted)

Reverend Christopher McMahon

July 5, 2026

UU Chatham